Regrets
by emmi7thp
Summary: Strictly a one-shot: Darth Vader begins to remember his past.


**Hey Emmi here, and yes I usually write Tangled stories and BOY do I need to update them. Yikes, I should get on that... I just updated New Parents and am working on Chapter 3 of that, sooo look for that today or tomorrow, probably not today, but who knows. This is my first Star Wars fanfic and I have been wanting to do it for a very long time! I just had this random inspiration to do one. Expect another one soon, again, maybe tonight(or tonight where I live). Yeah so, I have 3 Tangled stories so far and 1 Star Wars as of now. I said in my update on New Parents that I would be writing an epilogue that pertains to all Tangled fics, but I am writing a fanfiction for Tangled that the epilouge will not apply to. I am still trying to work out all of the kinks in a way to make this work. UGH, oh well. Enjoy for now and may the force be with you ;)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, I only own my ideas which I hope are mine. I have read a lot of Star Wars fanfictions... hmmm contact me if there are any plagiarisms. _

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><p><strong>Narrator's POV<strong>

Darth Vader woke up with a jolt from his sleeping pod. Another bad dream. He had been having them more and more frequently and he couldn't remember why. All four of his limbs and his luscious hair where gone, but certainly not his memory. He remembered all of the times he was betrayed by Obi-Wan and the Jedi the kidnapping of his mother. Suddenly anger surges through his head. He wondered what it must look like. Broken, scarred, and ugly. More rage entered his clouded head and he was about to force something across the room when someone entered his chamber. He opened the pod and stepped out. It was a stormtrooper.

"What do you want," Darth boomed, "how dare you interrupt me" he was about to kill the trooper when he paused, very confused, almost as if he expected to hear his old voice, but dismissed it.

"Um, I, uh, E-e-emporer P-p-palpat-tine requests your presence in the Loading Dock, sir uh My Lord" stuttered the trooper.

Vader could feel something was wrong, he could feel Palpatine's anger from where he was. Something was wrong.

Vader reluctantly followed the stormtrooper trailing by a few feet. It was a long walk and his mind started trailing off he remembered his dream.

**(The dream described as Darth Vader looking in on himself and reflecting on himself as Anakin Skywalker. "He" being Anakin and the person saying "he" being Vader)**

_He could see Padmé's silver ship landing. He pulled his hood down and ran to her. He could feel that something was wrong in her, he feared for her. She ran out of the ship as he walked up to stairs to meet her. They ran to each other and embraced. _

_"I saw your ship" he says, "What are you doing out here?"_

_"I was so worried about you," she says, on the verge of tears, "Obi-Wan told me terrible things" she says, trying to catch his eye contact while rubbing his arm. She was nervous._

_"What things" Anakin says._

_"That, you've turned to the dark side," still holding on to his arm, Anakin looks down, preparing his answer, "that you...killing younglings" she finishes, looking into his chest, trying to find an answer._

_"Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me"_

_"He cares about us" Padmé says, her voice quivering._

_Anakin stops, malice in his voice "Us?"_

_"He knows" she confirms, "He wants to help me"_

_Anakin, almost trying not to laugh meets Padmé's eyes, which are full of love and fear._

_"Anakin, all I want is your love" and he believes her but instead of giving it in return he tries to convince her, "Love won't save you Padmé, only my new powers can do that" If only he had known that no one person could do that_

_"At what cost!", Padmé tries to reason with him, "You're a good person, don't do this!"_

_"I won't loose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful that any Jedi has ever dreamed of, and I'm doing it for you, to protect you" Padmé could not believe the words she was hearing. The Anakin she once knew, was long gone. She was not even dreaming about what was going to happen. He wasn't even dreaming about what would happen, ignoring the hurt in her beautiful eyes._

_"Come away with me," said Padmé desperately, trying once more to reason with her husband, "help me raise our child, leave everything behind while we still can!" she says, stroking his hair._

_"Don't you see," says Anakin, almost possessed, "we don't have to run away anymore! I have brought peace to the Republic! I am more powerful than the Chancellor, I-i can overthrow him" Padmé was slowly backing away from him. Choking back tears._

_"And together you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be" There was a crazed look in Anakin's eyes that scared Padmé, she was still slowly backing away from him, her love. _

_Then she starts shaking her head, " I don't believe what I'm hearing" she says tearfully, "Obi-Wan was right" _

_"You've changed" she whispers, her words still ringing in Anakin's head._

_Anakin tries to bottle up his anger again, "I don't want to hear anymore about Obi-Wan" _

_He fails to acknowledge Padme's now obvious tears and continues ranting, "The Jedi turned against me don't you turn against me!" he says, like he is trying to discipline a child._

_Padmé continues to shake her head and cry, "I don't know you anymore" she says weakly._

_Then things freeze for a split second in Anakin's mind. He hears a sound so terrible, it sounds like a glass ball just shattered into a million pieces and a woman let out an ear-piercing cry of sadness, but no one is there. _

_"Anakin, you're breaking my heart" her words still ringing in Vader's head to this day._

_"You're going down a path I can't follow" but insead of sadness and remorse, all Anakin feels is more anger._

_"Because of Obi-Wan?"_

_"Because of what you've done!" Padme no longer tries to control her tears, "What you plan to do!"_

_Then Anakin notices someone emerging from the ship, Obi-Wan, the crazed look in his eyes return and he ignores Padmé's contant pleading of "Stop, stop now, come back, I love you"_

_"LIAR" Anakin's screams, and Padmé turns around to see her stowaway. _

_Then Padmé realizes what this must look like in her husband's eyes, "No," she says frantically._

_"Your with him!", Anakin advances on her, " You brought him here to kill me!" And he does the unthinkable, he puts the force choke on her. _

_"No" she pleads, her gasping pleas still ringing in my ears, but he was too blinded by the dark side to listen to her or Obi-Wan, pleading with him too, "Let her go Anakin." Padmé, still trying to plead with him, her air depleating, "Let. Her. Go"_

_Finally Anakin releases her and she collapses on the ground, but is not focused on making sure she or the baby, was okay._

_Hate, hate, and more hate for the Jedi and Obi-Wan pumps through Anakin's veins like venom, and he turns to his master_

_"You turned her against me" he booms_

_"You have done that yourself," Kenobi replies_

_Anakin throws off his cape and so does Obi-Wan_

_"You will not take her from me!" He yells again, more malice is apparent in his eyes, as Kenobi soon realizes_

_"You're anger and your lust for power have already done that" says his master._

_"You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind, "he continues, "so you, you have become the very thing you swore to destroy"_

_"Don't lecture me Obi-Wan, I see through the lies of the Jedi," says Anakin, still spewing out lies, " I do not fear the dark side as you do! I have brought peace" he says, not noticing Obi-Wan checking on his unconscious wife, "freedom, justice and security to my new Empire"_

_"You're new Empire?" Obi-Wan replies._

_"Don't make me kill you" _

_"Anakin," says Obi, still trying to reason with the fallen Jedi, "my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!"_

_"If you're not with me, than you're my enemy" Anakin says, his decision final._

_Obi-Wan finally realizes what he must do, "Only a Sith deals in absoloutes"_

_Obi-Wan Kenobi's words still ring in his head, only now, he realizes their true meaning._

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><p>Suddenly, he is again himself, Darth Vader, about to approach the loading dock of the Death Star when he stops.<p>

"My Lord?" the stormtrooper asks.

"Tell Emperor Palpatine I have left for an important mission" this was believable for the Emperor had already assigned Vader to a task, except Vader wasn't going there.

He took off to his escape pod, forcing anyone in his way to the wall. When he reached his pod, he set the course for the only place he thought he would find what he was looking for, Naboo.

Not bothering to care what the Emperor thought of his departure he detached from the Death Star and headed off.

When he was as few hours away from Naboo, another dream came to him, possibly explaining to him his compulsion to go to Naboo. It was something he had never seen before, even in his 13 years of being a Sith Lord, he never expected to see what he saw.

**(From Narrator's POV)**

_She was being brought to Polis Massa, a secret asteroid base._

_Padmé was laying in a hospital bed in a white gown, her face contorted in pain, breathing hard._

_A medical droid says that despite their efforts, they were losing her, she was dying. She had lost the will to live._

_She screams and out comes a baby boy, which she names Luke, her face as happy as it would be for the rest of her life._

_Then the girl Leia, there are two_

_She is breathing hard while Obi-Wan holds the twins._

_Her final words are, "Obi Wan...There's good in him. I know ... I know there's still ..."_

_Then I see her in her coffin, going down the streets of Theed in an elaborate funeral ceremony. To her resting place on a island in the middle of the lake on which her lake house sits. She looks so serene, her hair in curls, flowers all around her which remind me of the flowers in the field where we had our picnic. I was so happy then, The necklace that I had given her as a child on Tatooine in her hands. That is what she is buried with. _

Then Anakin is back in his pod, which is landing on Naboo, right at the start of the street which leads to Padme's tomb.

Slowly, Vader climbs out of his pod. The sun is setting and it is deserted. There are no boats in the water surrounding like in the vision. There are no lines of people filling the bridge over the water.

Darth Vader strides toward the arched pagoda, his black cape billowing behind him. He begins to panic, almost like he is running to save someone who is already dead.

His stride breaks into a run and he darts down the path. His robotic suit's breathing echoing through the crisp air.

He runs up the stairs and then stops.

There it is.

Her tomb.

It is made of marble so no one can see inside, but Vader was desperate. He throws open the marble tomb.

She is still there, and still beautiful. She had not changed since the day she floated down the street.

Vader breaks down by the coffin, wishing he could still weep in the suit.

The last time he saw her she was collapsed in a heap on the landing pad on Mustafar. Because of him this happened.

**Anakin/Vader's POV**

An unbearable pain sweep through what was left of my human body. I felt like screaming out and weeping for the first time since I was a boy. I learned the real reason Padmé was dead. I didn't kill her on Mustafar, she died after that, because the broken heart I caused, inflicted so much pain in her, it became physical and she lost the will to move on. She couldn't even keep herself alive for our children.

It was worse than when I was torched alive 13 years ago on Mustafar. It was 10 times worse.

It was an awful feeling of regret, remorse and sadness, and suddenly I understood what Padmé felt that day on Mustafar. Her broken heart, never to be mended.

I broke her heart, and because of me, she is dead.

That word rung in my head like a bell.

I couldn't accept it.

My wife was dead, the one I loved. The one who I became Darth Vader for was dead, because I chose to become Darth Vader.

I knew that if I took my helmet off, I would die.

So, I was about to take it off and join Padmé, confront her, when something caught my eye, a ghostly figure, of a woman.

Padmé.

"What are you doing here?" I said angrily.

She looked down at me and at her body, she was wearing the same clothes as her body.

"I am not a ghost, but I am here, yes." she paused, a tear in her eye, " Oh Ani" she said sadly.

"Why" I managed to choke out, "Why aren't you here with me?"

Padmé shook her head, "Anakin Skywalker, I love you no matter what, but you where too far gone to the dark side. I wanted us to have a bright future, with our children. I just wanted to protect them."

I looked down.

"Then I will take my helmet off, and we can be together again"

To this she shook her head.

"Then Luke and Leia will have no one, and they will never know the man that their father once was. I always knew there was good in you Anakin, you need to show it."

I am silent.

"How did this happen," I ask her, "How did this happen to my family, the life I once knew!"

She simply replies, "You gave into hate."

I look over to her body, as her ghostly form begins to vanish and I almost feel human again. I crawl over to her lifeless corpse and plead with it.

"Please forgive me..." I feel something wet on the burnt skin of my face. A single tear.

Then I think about all of the lives I have ruined, all of the people I have killed, my wife, and countless others I didn't even bother to care about. The lives that have been ruined because of me.

Including my life I have ruined and I realize that I am not a human. I am a monster.

I would never have anyone to say good-night to like a normal family. I would never have anyone to day I love you to daily like a normal family. I would never be able to have a normal life, neither would Luke or Leia. And neither would Padmé, because of me.

All of a sudden Padmé's form is returning. She looks at me, with the same love and sadness in her eyes and kisses me. Through the armor, on my real lips. Then vanishes again.

I am alone again, sitting in front of Padmé's tomb, I take one last look at the love of my life, and carefully close the coffin lid with the Force.

I sit there, alone again, and begin to realize that I became alone in the galaxy the moment I betrayed my family, my friends and myself.

My true self.

I vowed to see her again and to at least see my family, my children once before I died, and prove to them that I was changed. I would never be Anakin Skywalker again, he was gone and so was his life, but that didn't mean I couldn't try to regain a part of him in me.

I hoped that one day, I would prove that she was right.

There was still good in me.

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><p><strong>WOW, that took a lot longer than I thought. It is 3,095 words! Alright, it is NOT my best work. I really tried to make that last part more full of emotion, but it is HARD. MAJOr edits coming up soon! That is all for now, another Star Wars fic coming soon too. Doesn't follow this plot line like the Tangled ones do though. Alrighty. I hope that was kind of enjoable, and honestly I cried a bit writing it, so it can't be that bad right?...right?... no?...it IS that bad... okay. <strong>

**Please review! I love writing about this stuff, and I would like to improve! Thanks :)**

**~emmi7thp**


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